Abandoned all hope with the rubbish team you’ve pulled out of the hat in your World Cup sweepstake? ‘Psychic Albie’ might be here to save the day.
Yesterday, the mystic monkey predicted his way through the group stages, leaving us with 16 teams to battle it out in today’s final flourish.
Following the route the real World Cup will take in terms of who would face who relative to their groups and positions, it was a relief that yesterday’s picks relatively realistic.
Here’s how we stood:
Germany v Serbia
Senegal v England
Saudi Arabia v Morocco
Argentina v Peru
South Korea v Brazil
Colombia v Panama
Portugal v Russia
Nigeria v Denmark
If it were for real, you might look at Germany and Brazil as likely finalists, with the South Americans heading up a fairly ropey bottom half. Albie saw it differently!
Starting well, he plumped for a Germany v England quarter-final showdown. He was so quick to pick England over Senegal, expect a 6-0 thrashing.
After a strong group stage, presumably Albie was expecting a 2014-style 7-1 Brazilian collapse, as if he’s to be believed, it’s the South Koreans who advance in another seismic shock.
With the quality of the predictions seemingly going downhill as we go – perhaps fatigue setting in – here’s how his quarters look:
Germany v England
Morocco v Peru
South Korea v Colombia
Russia v Nigeria
Now, Albie’s a big fan of Paddington and, as it stands, two Peruvian players make it into his Daddy’s fantasy football side. Fully anticipating a Peru landslide at the hands of little-fancied Morocco, Albie proved his predictions have no prejudice and the Incas bowed out.
Let’s face it, the majority of these ties are less likely than England winning the whole thing, so we’ll skip to the big match: Germany against England.
This could well be an actual quarter-final – and most of us would expect the Germans to win, probably on penalties. When we tell you that we added in an extra option for this tie – penalties or no penalties – and then confirm Albie reckons it’s going to a shootout, no-one is expecting England.
Albie disagrees. With no life experience, he can perhaps be forgiven for thinking England will beat the Germans on penalties. If this process ever had credibility, he’s probably thrown it all down the toilet with that one.
So, to the semi-finals. And they are (ahem):
England v Morocco
Colombia v Russia
To save face after that appallingly-confident England victory, Albie was keen to make amends. With our best chance of winning the tournament we’ll ever get again, England predictably going crashing out in an Iceland-style failure. Who knew Morocco would be finalists? There’s hope for some sweepstakers who had torn up their Morocco bits of paper in disgust!
If you picked out Colombia and Russia, you perhaps rightly have no hope. In Albie’s crazy little world, though, it’s those with Colombia who still have a hope.
What odds on a Morocco v Colombia final? We’ll have to check and put a bet on them…just in case.
If you haven’t died of laughter, yet, and you want to know who Albie picked as World Cup 2018 winners, his prediction is below.
What a waste of time! 😀
In the first blog, I vowed to buy something for him related to his winning country. He told me coffee’s off the menu. Great…